whittledscars:

❛❛ you believe in GHOSTS and VAMPIRES but you don’t really believe in yourself do you?? ❜❜

                                 indie && private && selective
                                   robert small from ddadds
                                       penned by grayson
                                       under construction

[ been a weird couple days but i’m here!! time for drafts. ]

[ lord help me i’m going to a funeral today. For someone in my girlfriend’s family. This will be my first time seeing her mostly christian family. My smol nb self. At a funeral. What a way to meet them. ]

[ i’ve been painting my friend’s room all day and by painting i mean sitting on the couch and providing moral support. I may be on when i get home but bleehhh. Someone come talk to me grayson#3764 on di.scird or hop into my IMs]

LUCIUS.

                ^{the absence of the retreat of laurence’s hand does not process, though it’s not something he cares to notice at the moment. the only thing lucius can find himself looking at is the man before him as he thinks of what he wants to say. the dual meaning to his words is only just now understood, but he doesn’t retract anything.}

^{he smiles at the answers that are given, knowing that he hasn’t pushed the man past his boundaries yet. it means he has some wiggle room, a bit more time to find what he can get away with – if this turns out to be a grand game at all. maybe the prize itself is what he’s hoping for.}

^{leaning in towards laurence slightly, their lips barely ghost each other before he pulls back, his hand still keeping hold and even squeezing a little. ❝ good. maybe we should go get a coffee sometime. i hardly think a church is the proper place for any pda. ❞}

                    holy  shit.  holy  shit.  HOLY  SHIT.  his  brain  shuts  down  entirely.  no  thought  lasts  more  than  a  few  seconds,  zipping  out  before  he  can  even  begin  to  process  them.  what.  what.  it’s  barely  a  brush  of  lips,  definitely  not  anything  that  could  be  described  as  a  kiss.  and  yet–  and  yet–

❛  that–  that’d  be–  ❜  forward,  he  thinks.  this  is  very  forward.  he  is  very  forward.  brown  eyes  skitter  over  to  where  joseph  and  a  customer  are  pointedly  Not  Looking.  ❛  it’s  not  the  best  place,  no.  they  tend  to  get–  weird.  i’d  like  that,  though.  coffee.  sometime.  it’d  be–  nice.  ❜ they’re  still  holding  hands,  he  realizes.  he  looks  down  at  their  linked  hands,  loosens  his  grip  but  doesn’t  truly  pull  away. 

lucius.

                  ^{it’s almost a game now, how easy he can launch the man into a stuttering fit. he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t having any fun, especially with the comments that somewhat came out of laurence’s mouth. the grin keeps to his lips and he chuckles, reaching up to pry one of his hands away from his face.}

^{❝ i’ve been told that once or twice. i’ve also been told that it’s an endearing aspect when it doesn’t border on irritating. which way do you lean? ❞ was that meant to be taken suggestively as well? maybe.}

                      fingers  curl  around  his,  pulling  one  had  away  from  his  face.  he  doesn’t  put  up  much  resistance,  just  glances  up  at  lucius  and  tries  to  shove  down  the  absolute  MORTIFICATION  welling  in  his  chest.  goddamn  it.  

                      he  isn’t  sure  if  lucius  is  throwing  him  a  line  or  hitting  on  him  AGAIN.  his  other  hand  dropped  (  though  he  notably  doesn’t  let  go  of  lucius’  hand.  or–  not  notably.  because  he  doesn’t  notice.  at  all.  definitely  doesn’t  realize  after  enough  time  has  passed  that  pulling  away  would  make  it  weird.  )

❛ en–dearing??  ❜  it  comes  out  as  a  question  though  he  realizes  it’s  true.  despite  the  ceaseless  embarrassment,  it’s  not  actually  too  bad.  ❛  i  lean  toward  endearing.  ❜  and  leans  forward,  apparently.  

andbraveries:

richard siken sentence starters.

quotes are all taken from various poems out of richard siken’s poetry book crush.  feel free to change pronouns/etc if needed.

• ❝  tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.  ❞
  
• ❝  tell me we’ll never get used to it.  ❞
  
• ❝  there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you.  ❞
  
• ❝  i swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth.  ❞
  
• ❝  i want it back now, baby. i want it back.  ❞
• ❝  i’m sorry. we know how it works. the world is no longer mysterious.  ❞
  
• ❝  that’s a nice touch.  ❞
  
• ❝  i like him and i want to be like him.  ❞
  
• ❝  i’m sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.  ❞
  
• ❝  history repeats itself.  ❞
• ❝  there are many names in history, but none of them are ours.  ❞
  
• ❝  you could drown in those eyes.  ❞
  
• ❝  but damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills.  ❞
  
• ❝  sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.  ❞
  
• ❝  i couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time.  ❞
• ❝  you wanted happiness, i can’t blame you for that, and maybe a mouth sounds idiotic when it blathers on about joy but tell me you love this, tell me you’re not miserable.  ❞
  
• ❝  there is no way to make this story interesting.  ❞
  
• ❝  i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything, without having to say that i ran out into the street to prove something.  ❞
  
• ❝  tell me we’re dead and i’ll love you even more.  ❞
• ❝  you will be alone always and then you will die.  ❞
• ❝  i’m sorry i came to your party and seduced you and left you bruised and ruined, you poor sad thing.  ❞
  
• ❝  who am i? i’m just a writer. i write things down.  ❞
  
• ❝  i take it back.  ❞
  
• ❝  here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed.  ❞
  
• ❝  you still get to be the hero.  ❞
• ❝  what more do you want?  ❞
  
• ❝  love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying.  ❞
  
• ❝  no one will ever want to sleep with you.  ❞
  
• ❝  you know that recently we have had our difficulties and there are many things i want to ask you.  ❞
• ❝  you had not expected this.  ❞
  
• ❝  walk a mile in my shoes.  ❞
  
• ❝  a man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left with the river.  ❞
  
• ❝  you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore.  ❞
  
• ❝  hush, my sweet. these tornadoes are for you.  ❞
  
• ❝  that sounds overly valorous.  ❞
  
• ❝  do you love yourself?  ❞
  
• ❝  i don’t have to answer that.  ❞
  
• ❝  you wanted more.  ❞
  
• ❝  i had a dream about you.  ❞
  
• ❝  there’s nowhere to go. there’s nowhere to go.  ❞
  
• ❝  in these dreams it’s always you: the boy in the sweatshirt, the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me from jumping off the bridge.  ❞
  
• ❝  will you love me even more when i’m dead?  ❞
  
• ❝  you didn’t show up. i kept waiting.  ❞
  
• ❝  i swallowed crushed ice pretending it was glass and you’re dead.  ❞
  
• ❝  i don’t really blame you for being dead but you can’t have your sweater back.  ❞
  
• ❝  you can sleep now, you said. you can sleep now. you said that. i had a dream where you said that. thanks for saying that. you weren’t supposed to.  ❞
  
• ❝  hello darling, welcome home.  ❞
• ❝  please keep him safe.  ❞
  
• ❝  i just don’t want to die anymore.  ❞
  
• ❝  you want to die for love, you always have.  ❞
  
• ❝  you didn’t think you’d feel this way.  ❞
  
• ❝  you saved my life. i owe you, i owe you everything.  ❞
  
• ❝  please, just for one night, will you lie down next to me, we can leave our clothes on, we can stay all buttoned up.  ❞
  
• ❝  you’re all i ever wanted and worth dying for, too.  ❞
  
• ❝  drive into that tree, drive off the embankment. ______, make something happen.  ❞
  
• ❝  we are not dirty.  ❞
  
• ❝  you keep singing along to that song i hate. stop singing.  ❞
  
• ❝  here is the sink to wash away the blood.  ❞
  
• ❝  this is not harmless. you are not breathing.  ❞
  
• ❝  i will come back from the dead for you.  ❞