THE MEME FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE HAPPINESS.

ofhotheads:

Who doesn’t love soul-crushing angst? Send me a 💔 and I’ll generate a number, 1-75, and post a starter based on what scenario I get. 

Please note that some of these scenarios may be triggering.

Keep reading

startersofroleplay:

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Sentence Starters

• “Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
  
• “Can you explain memes to me?”
  
• “Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
  
• “Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
  
• “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
  
• “Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
  
• “Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
  
• “How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
  
• “I am a happy little cheese monster.”
  
• “I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
  
• “I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
  
• “I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
  
• “It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
  
• “I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
  
• “I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
  
• “I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
  
• “Mothman is bullshit.”
  
• “My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
  
• “OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
  
• “See you in class… bitch.”
  
• “Sharks are tight.”
  
• “So, you ever kill a man?”
  
• “Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
  
• “That… that is a good butt.”
  
• “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
  
• “This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
  
• “This is where I come to masturbate.”
• “Wait, I’m a wreck.”
  
• “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
  
• “You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
  
• “Your face… is… good.”
  
• “Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”
  

slainchosen:

UNHhhh Sentence Starters:

• It is so far fetched to believe that you are so special that you’re going to get butchered by a serial killer.
  
• The odds are just not in your favor.
  
• I am not a good person to sleep with.
  
• I speak French.
  
• Do you want to fight?
  
• I want to talk to you about adult films.
  
• God, I love porn.
  
• If I was a porn producer, my name would be Kris Jammer.
  
• I don’t want to do some of the things that I watch the porn of.
  
• I am depraved, ___.
  
• How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
  
• How can we start over if the fighting never ends?
  
• Hi, I’m the reason your dad left.
  
• Game on, bitch.
  
• Is this about the movie Contact?
  
• I will not Jodie Foster that kind of behavior.
  
• I’m not talking about this anymore.
  
• I don’t want to do this with you anymore.
  
• I’m the witch that won’t turn you into a frog because amphibians are people, too.
  
• You’re gonna die up there.
  
• I told you we get too personal too quick.
  
• I make loneliness work for me.
  
• I’ve finally lost contact with reality.
  
• You didn’t make it this far in life without selling something.
  
• I think the only way we can fix this is through intercourse.
  
• Is Thanksgiving on a Thursday this year?
  
• Something that I’m thankful for is that you continue to entertain friendship with me when all I do is interrupt you.
  
• I’m just looking for a guy that’s emotionally available, not full of bees.
  
• I’m just tapping at the door of your love.
  
• I’m calling the police.
  
• I’m more comfortable now. Is that okay?
  
• I’m less comfortable now.
  
• When we first started this, not only did I not know you, I had a low opinion of you.
  
• Don’t touch me.
  
• I got a sunburn, and I’m fucked now.
  
• Why are you wearing these?
  
• It’s a long story, bitch.
  
• Don’t ever sing to me again.
  
• Would you french me?
  
• You are a disgusting, vile, worthless human being.
  
• Honey, don’t even get me started, honey.
  
• I don’t really understand the female sexual response.
  
• I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you’d stop.
  
• If it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it.
  
• Let’s fight.
  
• I’m a man. Deal with it.
  
• I knew what was happening, and I still got scared.
  
• The truth is sometimes dumb.
  
• I’m not interested in any phone app unless it gets me laid.
  
• I think it’s important to think about the type of old person that you want to be.
  

Send me “…Maybe” if your muse is sexually attracted to mine

Send me a “♡” if you want to ship our muses

roleplaymemesmusings:

Send me a “✿“ if you want to friend-ship our muses. Send me a “✖“ if you want to hate-ship our muses.

obscenely domestic starter sentences

cxmocxmmando:

❝ Stop man-handling the ice cream! ❞
❝ Change the channel and I’ll kill you. ❞
❝ You actual shit, you started without me!? ❞
❝ Since I’m up, by default I will get your _____. ❞
❝ Did you just throw a sock ball at me!? ❞
❝ How about this, how about you fight the rest of the cereal by yourself and I’ll courageously make pancakes for those of us who want a little warmth in our mornings. ❞
❝ Whiskey is a breakfast staple, anyone who says otherwise is fucking lying. ❞
❝ My underwear are now bright pink because of you, thank you very much. ❞
❝ Can you stop kicking me? ❞
❝ I don’t go shopping I get and retrieve. I have a narrow focus, unlike some people. ❞
❝ Did you walk the dog? ❞
❝ You, me, PJ’s, pizza, bed. The PJ’s are optional. ❞
❝ Only you could make the idea of beating up already dead meat sound attractive. ❞
❝ I can feel you staring at me, why don’t you just come in? ❞
❝ Good news; we have internet again! ❞
❝ I don’t want to file taxes, why don’t you be the adult? ❞
❝ You snuggling me over an open flame is an invitation for my nipples to disappear. ❞
❝ I know you’re scared of my mother but contemplating arson isn’t the way to fix this. ❞
❝ I installed a stripper pole while you were gone because it made me think of you. ❞
❝ All I was doing was helping the barista learn to spell my name properly. The song and dance should NOT have gotten you that embarrassed. ❞
❝ How about we just never mention this again? ❞
❝ Have you seen my earrings/necklace/rings? ❞ 
❝ You are literally the child we both want/neither of us want. ❞
❝ Did you call the doctor about that? ❞
❝ Let me pop it, just let me pop it, nothing bad will happen, I swear! ❞
❝ You almost left me at the gas station! ❞
❝ Alright look! Next time you want to barbecue with the hair dryer, just make sure I’m home! ❞
❝ I didn’t think the sink had this much water inside of it. ❞
❝ Don’t be mad, but _____. ❞

Bonus for multi-lingual situations:
❝ Can you translate the news for me? None of this makes sense. ❞
❝ What is the word for this? *points at ____* I keep wanting to say ‘printer’ but I feel that is wrong. ❞
❝ Next time she calls you a ____ you just reply with _____. ❞
❝ I’m sorry but my pronunciation must sound really bad to you. ❞
❝ Shit! The government doesn’t have my alphabet, put this in a way I understand! ❞
❝ Can you finger spell that for me, I’m not quite up to that level yet. ❞
❝ That was said so horribly wrong but you sounded very cute while trying. A for effort. ❞

the salty af munday meme

iconic vines sentence meme .

auliicraval:

_{​❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜}

_{​❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜}

_{​❛ i thought you were american . ❜}

_{​❛ is that a weed !? ❜}

_{​❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜}

_{​❛ chipotle is my life . ❜}

_{​❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜}

_{​❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜}

_{​❛ is that a police !? ❜}

_{​❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜}

_{​❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜}

_{​❛ merry crisis ! ❜}

_{​❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜}

_{​❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜}

_{​❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜}

_{​❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch .  ❜}

_{​❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜}

_{​❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜}

_{​❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜}

_{​❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜}

_{​❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜}

_{​❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜}

_{​❛ and they were roommates ! ❜}

_{​❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜}

_{​❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜}

_{​❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜}

_{​❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜}

_{​❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜}

_{​❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜}

_{​❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜}

_{​❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜}

_{​❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜}

_{​❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜}

_{​❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜}

_{​❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜}

_{​❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜}

_{​❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜}

_{​❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜}

_{​❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜}

_{​❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜}

_{​❛ but it pays off, because i dont even have time to think about dying . ❜}

trcshymemes:

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

• ❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞
• ❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞
• ❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞
  
• ❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞
  
• ❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞
  
• ❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞
  
• ❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞
  
• ❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞
  
• ❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 
• ❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞
  
• ❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞
  
• ❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞
  
• ❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞
  
• ❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞
  
• ❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞
  
• ❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞
  
• ❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞
  
• ❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞
  
• ❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞
  
• ❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞
  
• ❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞
  
• ❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞
  
• ❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞
  
• ❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞
  
• ❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞
  
• ❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞
  
• ❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞
  
• ❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞
  
• ❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞
  
• ❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 
• ❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 
• ❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞
• ❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 
• ❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 
• ❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 
• ❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞
  
• ❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞
  
• ❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞
  
• ❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 
• ❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞
  
• ❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 
• ❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞
  
• ❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 
• ❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞
• ❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞
  
• ❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞
  
• ❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   
• ❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞
  
• ❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 
• ❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 
• ❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞
• ❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞
  
• ❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞
  
• ❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞
  
• ❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 
• ❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞
  

@wolfpupy twitter ask meme

ask-meme-addicts:

• ❝ _{^{its all fun and games until its not that anymore}} ❞
  
• ❝ _{^{i grow more powerful every day and by powerful i mean sad}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{if theres one thing i dont know about its everything}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{heres some general life advice, when the sun hits the ground find somewhere to hide}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{surfs up. hail satan}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{after 13 long years congress approved a bill that will finally let the bodies hit the floor}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{in a way aren’t we all responsible for my actions}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{some say love is a river, me i say things that make sense}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i may be dumb as hell but i am also insanely stupid}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{take every thing you own and throw it into the ocean who cares}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{you know the old saying, boys will be trash}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{one of these days i will float up off into damn space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{if i could shoot anything with a gun i would probably shoot another gun, the hunter become the hunted}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{lets forget about the bodies for a second. what do you really want to let hit the floor? your feelings perhaps?}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i’ve seen a lot of things in my time, which i blame on me leaving my eyes open. things got a lot better once i decided to just close them}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{learning from mistakes is for people who recognise that they make mistakes. i dont give a shit}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{there are few things in life that can’t be achieved with occult dark magic}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{how to predict the future: think of the worst possible thing that could happen}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{halloween is forever bitch}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{who are the real criminals, me who does the crimes or the people who hurt my feelings all the time}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{looks like things are always happening once again}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i am going to lay completely still on the forest floor until either things start going my way or i disintegrate into nothing}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{im sure im going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{tired of people always telling me go to hospital and that i’ve lost a lot of blood, its my severe head injury not yours stay out of it}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i hit the hay all day mother fucker. 24 hour sleep cycle. if you awake you a fake. its bed time bitch}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i hope one day i will find love, or a cool looking leaf. either one}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{piles of uneaten candy will signal im dead}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{the hairless rat is not a new species, merely a result of my failed scam of shaving rats and selling the hair back to them at a high price}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{we let the bodies hit the floor then what? next we’ll have bodies hitting walls, roofs, you name it, bodies will be hitting it}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the ones swinging big knives around while screaming and trying to cut us}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{yeah yeah blame the guy whos dna matches with the dna found at the crime scene. surprise surprise}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{for as long as i can remember i have been able to remember things, maybe even before that}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{yeah i looked both ways before crossing the street, i looked both ‘handsome’ and ‘radiant’, too bad i got hit by that car}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{stop living in a dream world and start living in the regular nightmare world all of the rest of us live in}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{blood moon, very cool to see. and whats the sun doing again? the same regular thing for the millionth time? what a load of worthless trash}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{if existing for an amount of time has taught me anything its that i have no idea whats going on}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{hurled my bible at the paper boy and knocked him off his bike with the real news}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i’ll go in whatever direction the wind takes me, and if i am too heavy for wind to move me around i will probably just lay down and die here}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{i’ve said it before and i will say it again, i think people should give me hundreds of dollars and feel good about doing it}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{wow, i’ve never thought about it like that before. and i never will. i’ve already forgotten what you said, good bye forever}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{dont betray me and act surprised when i get revenge on you, thats the number one consequence of betraying me. everyone knows it. even babies}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{blood is just nature’s red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{reached the limit of what you can do with imagination? why not try occult dark magic}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{if anyone needs me i will be laying face down on the ocean floor}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{its time to forget the mistakes of the past and start making the mistakes of the future}} ❞