slainchosen:

UNHhhh Sentence Starters:

• It is so far fetched to believe that you are so special that you’re going to get butchered by a serial killer.
  
• The odds are just not in your favor.
  
• I am not a good person to sleep with.
  
• I speak French.
  
• Do you want to fight?
  
• I want to talk to you about adult films.
  
• God, I love porn.
  
• If I was a porn producer, my name would be Kris Jammer.
  
• I don’t want to do some of the things that I watch the porn of.
  
• I am depraved, ___.
  
• How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
  
• How can we start over if the fighting never ends?
  
• Hi, I’m the reason your dad left.
  
• Game on, bitch.
  
• Is this about the movie Contact?
  
• I will not Jodie Foster that kind of behavior.
  
• I’m not talking about this anymore.
  
• I don’t want to do this with you anymore.
  
• I’m the witch that won’t turn you into a frog because amphibians are people, too.
  
• You’re gonna die up there.
  
• I told you we get too personal too quick.
  
• I make loneliness work for me.
  
• I’ve finally lost contact with reality.
  
• You didn’t make it this far in life without selling something.
  
• I think the only way we can fix this is through intercourse.
  
• Is Thanksgiving on a Thursday this year?
  
• Something that I’m thankful for is that you continue to entertain friendship with me when all I do is interrupt you.
  
• I’m just looking for a guy that’s emotionally available, not full of bees.
  
• I’m just tapping at the door of your love.
  
• I’m calling the police.
  
• I’m more comfortable now. Is that okay?
  
• I’m less comfortable now.
  
• When we first started this, not only did I not know you, I had a low opinion of you.
  
• Don’t touch me.
  
• I got a sunburn, and I’m fucked now.
  
• Why are you wearing these?
  
• It’s a long story, bitch.
  
• Don’t ever sing to me again.
  
• Would you french me?
  
• You are a disgusting, vile, worthless human being.
  
• Honey, don’t even get me started, honey.
  
• I don’t really understand the female sexual response.
  
• I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you’d stop.
  
• If it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it.
  
• Let’s fight.
  
• I’m a man. Deal with it.
  
• I knew what was happening, and I still got scared.
  
• The truth is sometimes dumb.
  
• I’m not interested in any phone app unless it gets me laid.
  
• I think it’s important to think about the type of old person that you want to be.