​❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

​❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

​❛ i thought you were american . ❜

​❛ is that a weed !? ❜

​❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

​❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

​❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

​❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

​❛ is that a police !? ❜

​❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

​❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

​❛ merry crisis ! ❜

​❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

​❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

​❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

​❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch .  ❜

​❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

​❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

​❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

​❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

​❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

​❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

​❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

​❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

​❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

​❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

​❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

​❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

​❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

​❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

​❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

​❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

​❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

​❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

​❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

​❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

​❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

​❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

​❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

​❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

​❛ but it pays off, because i dont even have time to think about dying . ❜